Somthing about standards and values

This articulates so beautifully one of the reasons I recommend that people let go of making "shoulds" and "oughts" the basis of their lives:

Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live - but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life.

-- Herbert Alphonso, SJ