Calmness of mind

I often have people express to me the concern that the non-judgment of meditation will leave them blank or unfeeling. Nothing could be further from the truth! The Dalai Lama speaks to this in The Art of Happiness which he wrote with Howard C. Cutler:

I should mention that when we speak of a calm state of mind or peace of mind, we shouldn't confuse that with a totally insensitive, apathetic state of mind. Having a calm or peaceful state of mind doesn't mean being totally spaced out or completely empty. Peace of mind or a calm state of mind is rooted in affection and compassion. There is a very high level of sensitivity and feeling there.

As long as there is a lack of the inner discipline that brings calmness of mind, no matter what external facilities or conditions you have, they will never give you the feeling of joy and happiness that you are seeking. On the other hand, if you possess this inner quality, a calmness of mind, a degree of stability within, then even if you lack various external facilities that you would normally consider necessary for happiness, it is still possible to live a happy and joyful life.

You know, a major breakthrough for me was coming to the inner conviction that it is right to want to be happy. And that's why I meditate. Because it works. With a reliable meditative practice I am a happy person. And I know that without a reliable meditative practice, I wouldn't be!

Friday Cat Blogging!

Someone gave me this little meditating cat a few years ago. Normally it lives on the music rack on my piano!

Photo by Cynthia Burgess

Progress on the path

I've noticed that beginning meditation students naturally assume that "easier" is "better" and that "more pleasant" also is "better". That approach may be okay in the early days when we're developing a taste for meditation but the time will come when it will impede our progress. Ram Dass speaks to this in his book, Journey of Awakening:

As your meditation develops, you may find yourself drawn back to the methods you avoided when you began. You may get frustrated because the fire is not hot enough and you want to move faster than easier methods permit. So you work with one method after the next until all aspects - heart, mind, and body - are balanced. If you begin with one of them, sooner or later you will probably want to integrate the others as well. It makes no difference which technique you start with. Try to sense what you're ready for and what you need. Above all, be honest with yourself.

A useful tactic is to pick a method that feels right and do it for two weeks. During this trial run, agree with yourself, "I will treat all my negative reactions to this form of meditation as merely thought forms prompted by my ego to keep me from taking it seriously. I will suspend judgment, criticism, and doubt." At the end of two weeks, you're free to evaluate the method. Or, give yourself three months or six months.

I know that in the early days of my meditative practice, I was very attracted to Zen and then to mantra. I stuck with those two methods for years and years. Then the Tibetans got hold of me! I ended up learning very intricate methods of visualization to which I was not attracted at all and to which I had quite a bit of resistance. I'm so glad I stuck it out, though. Working with less appealing methods of meditation ended up giving my mind a flexibility I didn't know it could have. Don't dismiss difficult methods out of hand. In the long run you'll only benefit by persevering.

Working with thoughts - part 2

Today I found a a helpful image for working with thoughts in Journey of Awakening by Ram Dass:

Here's a way you can keep from getting too lost in your thoughts. See your thoughts go by as if they were autumn leaves floating down a stream. But focus on the stream. The leaves drift by, being moved this way and that by the eddying water. On some there are drops of water that glisten in the sunlight. Let the leaves, the thoughts, float by, but keep your attention on the water itself. Your mind may dwell on a sound, a memory, a plan, or any of a thousand things. When you notice your mind clinging to any of these, these leaves, very gently bring it back to the stream, back to the water flowing. Let the leaves float by. Don't get angry because your attention will get caught thousands of times. Each time, very gently but firmly bring it back to the flowing water.

The important word in this passage is "gently". Don't be harsh with your mind. The point is to let go - not to force.

Wednesday life form blogging

Photo by Cynthia Burgess

Love without judgment

Kathleen McDonald has this to say about love in How to Meditate:

Love is wanting others to be happy. It is a natural quality of mind, but until we develop it through meditation and other practices it remains limited, reserved for a few select individuals. Genuine love is universal in scope, extending to everyone, without exception.

Although we might agree with this idea in principle, we probably find it difficult to actualize. Does love arise spontaneously for all the people in the street and the supermarket? Do we feel love for the politicians we don't like, racists, and parents who beat their children? If not, we have work to do!

We should begin with mindfulness: observing our reactions to the people we encounter, looking out for feelings of attraction, aversion and indifference. As long as we continue to discriminate between those we like, those we dislike and those we do not care about we can never even take the first step.

This is passage is written in the spirit of the benefit prayer in which we pray to be "free of the worldly bias towards friends and enemies". Yes, it's a radical commitment. It's meant to be. We will never be truly free, truly happy as long as we cling to the right to condemn others. This does not mean we are required to approve of everyone's actions. What we need to do is be conscious of each person's true nature underneath the actions. Each person, no matter what, is ultimately a fully enlightened being although he or she might not be awake to that. However, each one of us can begin to be awake to the true nature in others. In this way, our love will be non-discriminatory and universal.

Monday Meditative Picture Blogging

Rose Lynch sent me this picture of hers. I asked her permission to share it with you and she agreed.

Awareness

Today I happened to pick up my copy of How to Meditate by Kathleen McDonald. Here's a helpful passage about the benefit of awareness:

Our usual view of life is unrealistic. Most of our pleasant experiences depend on external objects and situations, whose very nature is ephemeral. When these things do change or disappear we cling on, unwilling to accept the reality of the situation. We want pleasure to last and are disappointed when it doesn't. And so we go, up and down, from pleasure to pain and happiness to unhappiness, all our lives.

Awareness of this reality is a step towards eliminating suffering. We will stop expecting people and things to make us happy and instead see that it is our attitude towards them that determines happiness and satisfaction. Ironically, when we stop clinging unrealistically to things, we enjoy them all the more!

Another major benefit of this meditation is that we can see that others suffer in the same way, and as a result we inevitably develop more kindness and compassion towards them.

What she doesn't mention is that the development of kindness and compassion also gives us more enjoyment of whatever pleasures come our way. It's a beautiful paradox: grasping pleasure causes it to disappear; letting go enables it to be enjoyed. And the greatest happiness of all comes from compassion.

The stuff of daily life

Here's another passage from Journey of Awakening by Ram Dass:

The final step in integrating meditation into your awareness is to use the stuff of daily life as part of meditation. There are ways of perceiving the world and the way you live in it such that each experience brings you more deeply into the meditative space. At the same time, however, this kind of meditation requires firm grounding: you must continue to function effectively in the world as you meditate on it. This is meditation in action. It finally becomes the core of a consciously lived life, a meditative space within you. This space stands between each thing you notice and each response you make, allowing a peaceful, quiet, and spacious view of the universe.

I agree with the point that we need firm grounding. Not only is this about functioning effectively in the world, it is also about regular formal practice. Regular practice gives us a backlog of experience so that we're able to apply the meditative process to the "stuff of daily life" with skill. I also really like the expression, "a consciously lived life". Isn't that what we want? To be aware? To wake up? Let's commit ourselves to living consciously and not lull ourselves into unconsciousness.

Skill in mindfulness

It's really important to be deeply accepting of our own mind and not give in to frustration when we lose mindfulness. Akong Tulku Rinpoche explains how to do this in Taming the Tiger:

How, then, should we react when we feel we are not being mindful or that we are unable to meditate as calmly and peacefully as we would like? First, there is no need to panic. In the deepest sense, there are no good thoughts or bad thoughts and our moods and mental states are a lot less solid and fixed than they seem. Nor should we over-react if too many thoughts and feelings arise and cause confusion or uncertainty. Instead, we try to relax and simply observe the play of the mind. However, if we're trying to visualize something in particular, or are purposely attempting to develop a specific quality - such as compassion - then the wandering or unruly mind should gently be brought back to the subject.

Remember, the present moment or the current reality is always the support for training the mind even when we're not formally sitting in meditation. Bringing the mind back to what is happening while it's happening will reliably tame a mind that is out of control. But don't try to control the mind as such. Just let go of the attachment to being out of control! The mind will settle eventually if we are both gentle and faithful to the meditative process.

The gift of humor

Many of you know that I just moved last week. Just next door. Somehow I thought that because it was so short a distance it would be an easier move than most. Now that was silly, wasn't it? All the usual hassles of moving still happened and more besides. The ultimate mishap was having the faucet to the bathtub snap off in my hand while I was trying to turn the water off. There I was with the water running, no working faucet and, to top it all off, my phone didn't work. Fortunately, I remembered the slogan, "If it will be funny later, it's funny now!"

Well, the plumber came and I got a new faucet and the phone company finally got its act together and I thought things had finally settled down. But wouldn't you know it, this morning they cut my water off! Seems the guy who lived here before me hadn't paid his bill and somehow the office folks hadn't yet transferred my account.

So I really appreciated the passage I found a few minutes ago in Journey of Awakening by Ram Dass:

Did you ever have a bad day? Everything seems to go wrong and you are completely lost in anger, frustration, and self-pity. It gets worse and worse, until the final moment when, say, you have just missed the last bus. There is some critical point where it gets so bad the absurdity of it all overwhelms you and you can do nothing but laugh. At that moment you uplevel your predicament, you see the cosmic joke in your own suffering.

Meditation, because of the space it allows around events, gives you the chance to see the humor of your predicament. Awareness of the passing show of one's own life allows a lightness to enter in where only a moment before there was heaviness.

Humor puts things in perspective.

Doesn't it just? I really am so grateful for the meditative process because I can now laugh about situations that used to infuriate me. What's really fun is the ability to laugh at my own inner reactions. Meditation has taught me that I don't have to identify with my thoughts. So it's easy to sit loose to what arises in my mind and see it as enormously funny. Sometimes I don't do that instantly but I think the process works retroactively! At whatever point I'm able to see the humor in a situation, then the whole event is something I can take lightly. Try this: Sit for a few minutes in meditation and to whatever thought arises say, "Well, that's funny," and then return to the meditative support. Do this over a period of a week or so and see if your sense of humor doesn't expand. You'll be amazed!

Friday Cat Blogging!

Here's Leroy, just enjoying being a cat!

Photo by Cynthia Burgess

Natural changes

Meditation changes our lives. Really. But we don't need to force change or be impatient about it. Ram Dass speaks to this in his book, Journey of Awakening:

Though you can start meditation any time, it's harder if your life is chaotic, if you're feeling paranoid, if you're overwhelmed with responsibilities, or if you're sick. But even starting under these conditions, meditation will help you to clear things up a bit. Slowly you reorganize your life to support your spiritual journey. At each stage there will be something you can do to create a supportive space. It may mean changing your diet, who you're with, how you spend your time, what's on your walls, what books you read, what you fill your consciousness with, how you care for your body, or where and how you sit to meditate. All these factors contribute to the depth and freedom that you can know through meditation.

You are under no pressure to rush these changes. You need not fear that because of meditation you are going to lose control and get swept away by a new way of life. As you gradually develop a quiet and clear awareness, your living habits will naturally come into harmony with your total environment, with your past involvements, present interests, and future concerns. There need be no sudden ending of relationships in order to prove your holiness. Such frantic changes only show your own lack of faith. When you are one in truth, in the flow, the changes in your life will come naturally.

Forcing change is not necessary. But perseverance is. This is where the community of practitioners becomes so important. The support of others makes all the difference in our willingness to "keep on keeping on" with our meditative practice. And if we do this, we will, indeed, see the changes in our attitudes and behavior that promote well being and deep happiness.

Wednesday life form blogging

Photo by Cynthia Burgess

Persistence

One of the books I recommend to beginning meditation students is Journey of Awakening: A Meditator's Guide Book by Ram Dass. Today I was thumbing through my copy and came across a passage about meditating whether you feel like it or not:

Many times in the course of meditation you will think of things you'd rather be doing. There may be moments of boredom, of sexual desire, doubt, or fatigue. At these moments you must call upon your faith. Faith in what? Faith in the power of meditation to change your awareness and your perspective about reality.
...
Along with faith comes the requirement for dogged persistence. At first meditation may bring you mild highs or some relief from suffering. But there may come a time - just as there does in the development of any skill - when there will be a plateau. You may be bored, discouraged, or even negative and cynical. This is when you will need not only faith, but persistence. Often you will find yourself in training that forces you
to sit when you wish you didn't have to. You subject yourself to this because something deeper within tells you to go on...

Even to the end of the journey faith is vulnerable. For example, though your faith may be strong enough to sit in meditation, if you mix with people who sneer at it, their skepticism may weaken your resolve. But if you stay with meditation, faith in your path will strengthen until you can withstand any criticism, even your own doubt and dark night of the soul.

A natural kindness

Here's a quote I just found. I'm afraid I don't know who Geri Larkin is but I like what he or she said:

If we hold on to our humility, if we let go of our egos and stop clinging to whatever it is we're clinging to, we'll find the wonderful surprise that behind all that gunk is a natural kindness, a love for everyone and everything that we never thought we had. And if we let ourselves act from that place, we'll discover a kindness without limits and an unutterable peace.

-- Geri Larkin

That is truly beautiful. How wonderful to know that we don't have to create kindness in ourselves but that it is already there. All we need to do is get out of the way.

Update: Paul Rogers googled Geri Larkin and found this.

Monday Meditative Picture Blogging

Tom Vinson sent today's picture and here's what he said about it:

I was out in the back yard last night with the camera and took this. It's one of Miriam's climbing roses. There's only one flower on the vine right now, but one is enough.

Learning to listen

One important aspect of mindfulness is the ability to hear what another person is saying. Lamya Surya Das speaks to this in Awakening the Buddha Within:

As we become more conscious, more aware, we discover the joys of listening and we let go of our need to broadcast. I call this opening the third ear, the inner ear of genuine listening. If we are sufficiently sensitive and aware, we can listen through all the senses.
...
Mirror-like awareness clearly reflects things just as they are, without distortion, coloring, or expectation. True listening is a way of stopping and being present so that whatever is being said is immediately apparent, as are all movements in the entire inner and out energy field. This is one aspect of developing awareness. It's a skill that good psychotherapists use to clearly reflect, without distortion or interference, whatever is brought up in a counseling session so that their clients can better see and know themselves, and in this way discover for themselves what they want and need. Freud called it hovering awareness, just being present without judgment or preconception.

It actually makes life more enjoyable to listen carefully and well. It enhances our ability to perceive things as they are and helps us make rich and meaningful connections with others.

The value of effort

How do you harness your spiritual energy? Lama Surya Das talks about the importance of spiritual effort in this passage from Awakening the Buddha Within:

When Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living," the sentence struck such a profound chord of truth that even now, more than two thousand years after Socrates' death, these words continue to resound. It takes sincere spiritual effort to examine our lives and work at cultivating ourselves. Through introspection, prayer, and contemplation - mindfulness and awareness practices - we utilize the timeless, tried and true, effective inner science of spiritual awakening and transformation.

It's the transformation part that truly gladdens my heart! The transformation is real. Spiritual effort supports the kind of change in our lives that brings peace and happiness.

Working with thoughts

Here's another passage from Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das:

Of course you will have thoughts in meditation. Thoughts arise all the time, like waves on an ocean. You don't have to iron out the ocean. Just notice the waves as they arise and disappear on the ocean's surface. In meditation, we maintain that same attitude regarding our thoughts. We observe the process of thinking. We notice that there is a thought; we watch it arise, and we let it go and pass by as we continue breathing. As we get deeper in meditation, we notice that the breath gets more still, the body gets quieter, and the thoughts become calmer. This isn't the primary goal of meditation, but it is a beneficial side effect and sign of progress along the way.

Through meditation, we come to know that we are not our thoughts. As we develop what is often referred to as "a steady mind," our thoughts lose the power to upset us or throw us topsy-turvy. We learn that we have a life apart from our thoughts. We are not what we think. We create our thoughts and we are responsible for our thoughts, but we are not limited by them or enslaved by the thinking process.

The realization that we are not our thoughts can be revolutionary. Often people resist letting go of their thoughts for fear of losing their identity. But if we realize that our true nature is far deeper and more wonderful than what we think, there is no fear.