More on kindness

Yesterday I shared with you some remarks by Sharon Salzberg that she gave during an interview. Today I want to offer an excerpt from her book, The Force of Kindness:

A friend of mine, at the end of a retreat, offered a provocative reflection that intrigued and inspired me. After looking intensively at her inner experience for nine days of meditation and seeing many of her life choices in a brand new light, she commented, "If you really want to be a rebel, practice kindness."

There could be many wonderful extrapolations: "If you really want to be outrageous, be ethical." "If you want to go against the grain, be kindhearted." "If you want to live on your own terms, breaking out from expectation and external demands, practice love." "To be free, to be different, to be bold, be compassionate."

My friend is an independent thinker, a person who likes to make her own decisions and set her own goals. She likes to know what options she has before her, and to be able to choose the one that is individual, distinctive, noncomformist. When she can really be herself, and not assume a facade in order to please people or fit in or meet their expectations, she is happy. I think she was absolutely right about kindness and rebellion.

The world may tell us to grab as much as we want, and we might think that the audacity of rebelliousness is to grab even more with impunity, but how about being really radical and questioning how much we need? Conventional wisdom may be that retribution displays strength and can summarily bring an end to conflicts, but how about taking a leap and challenging ourselves to a whole new meaning of resolution based on mutuality and caring? The easy way may be to turn away and distract ourselves form the distress and suffering of others, but how about being daring enough to pay attention? Our conditioning may tell us we don't need anybody, but how about taking a real look at life and noticing that we are all entwined in a fabric of interdependence, then being willing to risk acting accordingly?

I have never thought of kindness before as an act of rebellion. But it certainly is a rebellion against the incredible selfishness that is fundamental to the political climate in our country today. And please don't forget to be kind to yourself. We can do this in meditation by paying attention to the "tone of voice" we use with ourselves when we notice distractions. Never scold yourself for "doing it wrong". Just gently bring the mind back to the meditative support with unconditional acceptance of yourself. This will contribute to your basic sense of well being more than I can possibly describe!