Saturday, August 13, 2005

Unconditional friendliness

One of the big misconceptions about meditation that beginners tend to have is the belief that one is supposed to force the mind to remain on the meditation support. John Welwood describes the correct approach in his book, Toward a Psychology of Awakening:

In meditation practice, you work directly with your confused mind-states, without waging crusades against any aspect of your experience. You let all your tendencies arise, without trying to screen anything out, manipulate experience in any way, or measure up to any ideal standard. Allowing yourself the space to be as you are - letting whatever arises arise, without fixation on it, and coming back to simple presence - this is perhaps the most loving and compassionate way you can treat yourself. It helps you make friends with the whole range of your experience.

As you simplify in this way, you start to feel your very presence as wholesome in and of itself. You don't have to prove that you are good. You discover a self-existing sanity that lies deeper than all thought or feeling. You appreciate the beauty of just being awake, responsive, and open to life. Appreciating this basic, underlying sense of goodness is the birth of maitri - unconditional friendliness toward yourself.

There is nothing more tragic than to be in an adversarial relationship with oneself and, sadly, this is true for many people. Cultivate "unconditional friendliness" toward yourself by practicing the spacious, open approach to meditation that Welwood describes. The benefit is, quite simply, the alleviation of suffering and the arising of true happiness.

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