Here's an excerpt:
After you have settled into your usual pattern of breathing and being in the present, meditate on the strengths or positive characteristics that you received from your parents or other loving caregivers. I received love and kindness from both my parents. From my father, I inherited thoughtfulness and integrity while my mother passed on gentleness and nurturing.You might like to click through and read the whole article. I think it's really quite inspiring and I'm going to incorporate this exercise in my work with couples.
Next, pick one of these traits as a focal point. Here I want to focus on just one of these traits, to feel that quality as my own. I selected kindness. I focused on this word and noticed what I felt in my body. My heart felt warmer and I observed less tension in my chest and shoulders. Of course, as is normal, I was plagued by examples of when I was not kind. In the tradition of mindfulness meditation, I noticed the intrusive thoughts and let them move past my awareness so I could return to reflecting on kindness emanating from my heart. Then I pictured my spouse while maintaining a focus on that positive characteristic that I received from my parents, kindness.
At this point, I invite you to ask yourself the following questions. If this characteristic were to be present in your relationships towards your spouse, what would it look like? What would you be doing? How would you treat your spouse? How would it feel?
Settle on one behavior or action. Picture yourself doing this action for your partner. See the details. Notice how it feels to give this part of yourself to your partner.