Thursday, January 05, 2012

Giving ourselves kindness and respect

I often have people come to talk to me who are absolutely brutal with themselves in the mistaken belief that such brutality will somehow help them improve their lives. I like what Pema Chödrön has to say about that:
Learning how to be kind to ourselves, learning how to respect ourselves, is important. The reason it's important is that, fundamentally, when we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn't just ourselves that we're discovering. We're discovering the universe.
Remember, we are not really separate from all that is. We are deeply, utterly, wonderfully connected.


  1. Anonymous9:12 PM

    But doesn't that lead to vanity or something like that? The "it's all about me" syndrome?

  2. Kindness and respect? Mercy, no! Kindness and respect for ourselves helps us feel in solidarity with others rather than either above them or beneath them.

    When we're down on ourselves we're actually more narcissistic than when we realize we're pretty much in the same boat as everybody else (and therefore need and deserve the same compassion as everybody else.) Being down on ourselves leads to self-pity which is REALLY an "all about me" state to be in!

  3. Anonymous12:09 PM

    Well said Sister!

    annie c


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