Thursday, January 07, 2010

Cultivating self acceptance

Many people are convinced that their lives will finally be okay when they find Mr. or Miss "Right". Here's the thing: if your life is not okay now, finding a companion to share it with will not magically make it better:

It is rewarding to find someone you like, but it is essential to like yourself. It is quickening to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being, but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable. It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect and admiration and love, but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things.

For you cannot live in someone else. You cannot find yourself in someone else. You cannot be given a life by someone else. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave or lose.

To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.

-- Jo Coudert

The absolutely best way I know to cultivate self-acceptance is meditative practice. That, you see, is what we do when we meditate. We accept our thoughts, our feelings, our mind state, our physical state, over and over and over again. There really is no better training.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous2:13 PM

    Dear Sr. Ellie

    So very true. Learning to accept myself as how I am now has been one of the most liberating experience. I think that we often fall into the trap that finding that magical "other" will fulfill all what we need.

    Now a question for you. Is being convinced that finding "God" (as an external, religious entity) also necessary for a complete life? Or, does this fall into the same trap of finding the Mr. or Miss "Right"?

    I believe that finding yourself also involves finding an internal "God" (in the spiritual sense), but maybe I am limited or misguided in my understanding.

    Thanks for all your posts. I really enjoy reading them.

    - Learning To See.


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