Anger and self-acceptance

I suppose the most difficult task I face in working with people is inviting them into radical self-acceptance. I don't know why people think that they will improve themselves if they don't accept themselves. But many people do think that way. Of course all that does is keep them stuck because it reinforces judgment and the only way to make effective changes is to let go of judgment. Stephen Levine speaks to this in A Gradual Awakening:

We don't have to be afraid to see anything. In a clear seeing of anger or fear or insecurity or doubt, each thing is defused, it doesn't beg for expression, its reactive power is dissipated. Mindfulness will cut through it. And the mindfulness weakens the force of its arising in the future, even though it may have such potency that it stays for a while. As we experience alternate moments of mindfulness and anger, we begin undermining the power of the anger.
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The nature of the mind is such that when awareness is present it displaces the kind of grasping that breeds frustration. We cannot have awareness and grasping active in the same moment. They don't fit in the same space. When we're not mindful, when we're identifying with the thought, which is forgetfulness, the opposite of mindfulness, we spin out. When we're mindful, each thought arises and passes away, to be followed by another - there's no stickiness. So when we're mindful of anger, it won't stay. We don't suppress it, we don't act it out. We're just mindful of it, experience it, and watch it come and go.
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Coming mindfully into the moment is accepting ourselves fully. We know that there are feelings we don't know the root of, feelings we're not in touch with: "I feel a certain way, but I don't know why; I have this uneasiness, but I don't know where it's coming from - and here I am just open to it, just sitting with it." We can allow ourselves to stay soft with that, not to close in on it, not to cause resistance in the mind and body. It's all right not to know - it leaves room for knowing.

Leaving room in our consciousness is so liberating. Having our mind crowded with judgments is just the opposite: it restricts and imprisons us. Complete self-acceptance truly is the way forward because it is non-grasping. Think about it. Refusing to accept yourself is an intense form of grasping. And that will only drive our afflictive emotions in deeper.