Steadfastness and clear seeing

I often remind classes that mindfulness meditation is not the same thing as going into a trance. We don't want to lower our awareness but rather help it to become clearer - more finely tuned. Pema Chodron speaks to this in her marvelous book, The Places That Scare You:

So whenever we wander off, we gently encourage ourselves to "stay" and settle down. Are we experiencing restlessness? Stay! Discursive mind? Stay! Are fear and loathing out of control? Stay! Aching knees and throbbing back? Stay! What's for lunch? Stay! What am I doing here? Stay! I can't stand this another minute! Stay! That is how to cultivate steadfastness.

Clear seeing. After we've been meditating for a while, it's common to feel that we are regressing rather than waking up. "Until I started meditating, I was quite settled; now it feel like I'm always restless." "I never used to feel anger; now it comes up all the time." We might complain that meditation is ruining our life, but in fact such experiences are a sign that we're starting to see more clearly. Through the process of practicing the technique day in and day out, year after year, we begin to be very honest with ourselves. Clear seeing is another way of saying that we have less self-deception.

That's so important. When we let go of self-deception and deeply know that this is not something we will intentionally choose, we lose all fear of what may come up in our meditation. Then we will know a freedom possible no other way.