A little Sunday morning levity

Just for fun:

Actually, from a meditative point of view, this gives us a lot of excellent material for reflection! Think about it. (Those of you who are familiar with the Tibetan Book of the Dead will especially recognize what I'm talking about here.)

It's May Day!

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"May Day" by Kate Greenaway

Image from Wikimedia Commons

Let's spend some time outdoors if we can:

Where shall we keep the holiday,
And duly greet the entering May?
Too strait and low our cottage doors,
And all unmeet our carpet floors;
Nor spacious court, nor monarch's hall,
Suffice to hold the festival.
Up and away! where haughty woods
Front the liberated floods:
We will climb the broad-backed hills,
Hear the uproar of their joy;
We will mark the leaps and gleams
Of the new-delivered streams,
And the murmuring rivers of sap
Mount in the pipes of the trees,
Giddy with day, to the topmost spire,
Which for a spike of tender green
Bartered its powdery cap;
And the colors of joy in the bird,
And the love in its carol heard,
Frog and lizard in holiday coats,
And turtle brave in his golden spots;
While cheerful cries of crag and plain
Reply to the thunder of river and main.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

That's right: Up and away! And duly greet the entering May.

I hope everyone's day is just lovely.

Friday cat blogging!

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Her little self's name is Tona.

Photo from Wikimedia Commons

The problem with comparisons

For years now, I've been reminding people of that old slogan, "Comparisons are odious." Here's something that speaks to this issue:

Resist the temptation to compare yourself to others in a negative fashion. . . . If you are in the midst of making such comparisons--stop! It is human nature to do some comparing, and when we are in a good spot and feeling pretty good about ourselves, it can even be positive, as it may inspire us to emulate someone else. But when we are wrestling with self-acceptance, comparing ourselves to others is one of the worst things we can do. It is tantamount to scolding a child who falls off his or her bike for lacking the skills of a professional bicyclist. We wouldn't think of doing that, but when we compare ourselves to others, with us on the bottom and virtually everyone else above us and better than us, we are hurting ourselves just as heartlessly.

-- Gary Egeberg

Comparisons, of course, are dependent on the faculty of judgment. In meditative practice, we learn how to accept without judgment. This is a critical skill that will help us hugely in avoiding the comparison trap.

Something about listening

My friend, Larry Hochhaus, offers the following today:

Listening is such an art. Listening may be more difficult than talking. So often when I'm listening I am missing part of what's being said because I'm focused on what I'm going to say when it's my turn to speak. Being focused on what is being said rather than my response to it is difficult, but part of being supportive. Perhaps the person sharing a problem with me doesn't want advice. Possibly they just want to talk and reach their own conclusions on what to do about it. Nevertheless, listening is how I show respect. I must be very careful about giving advice, even when it is asked for. Better than giving advice, I might simply share what I think the person's options might be but letting them make the final choice.

I do agree with this even though sometimes I inadvertently violate this principle myself. That's okay. It's just that when we catch ourselves doing too much of the talking or when someone points that out to us, we need to reflect on how we lost mindfulness in that situation and make a sincere effort to tune in rather than to broadcast so much.

Meditation will help with this enterprise. When we meditate, we make the intentional decision to settle, to keep silence and to listen, if you will, to our own thoughts. It's the best practice ever for learning to listen to others.

Wednesday life form blogging

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Phot from Wikimedia Commons

Something about "right speech"

Sometimes I am very dismayed when people insist that "honesty" is the value that trumps every other value. I've heard the most egregious acts of unkindness justified in that way. Here's something that speaks to this issue:

If it is not truthful and not helpful, don't say it.
If it is truthful and not helpful, don't say it.
If it is not truthful and helpful, don't say it.
If it is truthful and helpful, wait for the right time.

- The Buddha

Monday meditative picture blogging

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Photo by Cynthia Burgess

Hmmm...

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By Dante Shepherd (used with permission)

Many thanks to Karen Bottoms for calling my attention to the website called "Surviving the World". It's fun to browse through! (And there's some good stuff there.)
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Sunday art blogging

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Artist: Kasimir Malevich

Image from Wikimedia Commons

The great value of being ordinary

It took me many years to make sense of this principle:

When an ordinary person attains knowledge, that person is a sage;
when a sage attains understanding, that person is an ordinary person.

-- Zen saying

A seasonal observation

I think before the month is out I ought to offer this delightful verse by that master of humorous poetry, Ogden Nash:

Praise the spells and bless the charms,
I found April in my arms.
April golden, April cloudy,
Gracious, cruel, tender, rowdy;
April soft in flowered languor,
April cold with sudden anger,
Ever changing, ever true –
I love April, I love you.

This really describes April in Oklahoma! :-)

Friday cat blogging!

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Please consider adopting a black cat, dear people. Animal welfare organizations tell us that a disproportionate number of them have to be euthanized because people are superstitious and don't want them. That's just too sad for words.

Oh, and, yes, I do have one myself. He is my precious Leroy who has been featured right here on Fridays many times!

Kinda funny; kinda helpful all the same!

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Here's a video that's produced in something of a silly, humorous way. However, the advice is good and these suggestions have been well documented to work.

Just because you aren't in a situation, by the way, in which you can do all of these doesn't mean you can't do one or two of them. For example, you can fall back on a mantra you have chosen to use when you're agitated in just about any situation. No one needs to know. I have two that work: "serenity" and "accept without judgment" . The trick is remembering to use them. But don't give up if you forget once in a while. Aim for "progress - not perfection" (as the 12 Step folks say).

Lovingkindness meditation

It's been a while since I've encouraged on this blog something called metta practice. Metta simply means lovingkindness and it is the sincere wish - toward ourselves and toward others - for happiness and wellbeing.

Here's the form I typically use:

May I be happy.
May I be well.
May everything be well in my life.

Then you repeat that using the pronouns he, she or they as appropriate.

I happened to find another form (this one by Jeff Brantley) that I've mentioned before on this blog (but not for several years now):

May I be happy.
May I be healed and healthy.
May I be filled with peace and ease.
May I be safe.

It's a little more specific than the first one and can really be helpful in times of anxiety or confusion.
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Wednesday life form blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

An excellent instruction:

Go into yourself and see how deep the place is from which your life flows.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke

Of course, it does take courage to do this. And perseverence.

Worth it, all the same.

Really. Trust me on this one.
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How to be on the safe side

There is so much stinginess and condemnation of others in this world. Here's something to ponder that will cure us of that fundamental selfishness if we'll let it:

All my experience of the world teaches me that in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred the safe side and the just side of a question is the generous side and the merciful side.

-- Anna Brownell Jameson

Monday meditative picture blogging

Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Life flows

Today I give you an observation that can transform our lives if we'll let it:

There is never a frozen moment.
Life flows and so must we.

-- Stephen C. Paul

Sunday art blogging

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1197 Painting in Tokyo National Museum

Image from Wikimedia Commons

A wonderful description of walking meditation

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This is from a short New York Times article entitled "Outer Beauty and Inner Peace":

One of the practices taught on retreats is mindful walking meditation, with the intention to feel stillness in movement and the movement in stillness. Outside in the morning when it’s cool, you can see deer, wild turkeys and many other birds. You can spend 40 minutes moving 50 feet, yet you feel as if you’re traveling into rich surroundings that invite exploration. And that feeling endures as you move inside to the meditation hall and gaze out through the huge windows that overlook the land. In that hall, the feeling of what is “inside” can merge with what is “outside.”

The writer is referring to a retreat center called "Spirit Rock Meditation Center".

I would say that the sense of "inside" merging with "outside" can happen in any meditation hall and that walking meditation certainly helps facilitate that awareness.

Friday cat blogging!

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Becoming a seeker

Our society is hugely focused on and attached to goals - so much so that many people feel like failures if they either don't have goals or if the goals they have do not come to fruition. Needless to say, a lot of unhappiness results. I have considerable appeciation, therefore, for the following:

The more I focused on lack and on what I couldn’t have, the more depressed I became. The more depressed I became, the more I focused on lack. My soul whispered that what I really yearned for was not financial security but financial serenity. I was still—quiet enough to listen. At that moment I acknowledged the deep longing in my heart. What I hungered for was an inner peace that the world could not take away. I asked for help and committed to following wheresoever Spirit would lead me. For the first time in my life I discarded my five-year goals and became a seeker, a pilgrim, a sojourner.

-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

I think it would be rich material for reflection to ponder the distinction between security and serenity.

The sun will come out....!

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Every day I get an email from Etsy that lists a variety of offerings that usually are associated with a specific theme. That's how I discovered the shop of a jewlery maker who lists the above necklace for sale.

You can find this cloud-sun jewelry piece right here. I think it has a wonderful message in keeping with meditative principles and is a good prompt for reflection.

It's fun to explore this artist's entire shop. She has 129 items listed and they're all very delightful.

Etsy (if you don't already know this) is an online site for listing either handmade products or vintage items for sale. It's a bit more specialized than Ebay. There are really incredibly intriguing finds there!

Interconnectedness and flowers

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Poster photo from Wikimedia Commons

"When we look deeply into the heart of a flower, we see clouds, sunshine, minerals, time, the earth, and everything else in the cosmos in it. Without clouds there could be no rain, and without rain there would be no flower."

-- Thich Nhat Hanh

"People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us."

-- Iris Murdoch

I so agree with both of these. Go out and buy a couple of stems of fresh flowers. Or just pick a dandelion from your yard and put it in a tiny vase. Use it as a meditative support. Relish its existence.

Monday meditative picture blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

The importance of perseverance

Undoubtedly, one of the most important principles I was taught as part of my monastic formation is that of perseverence. Without it, most other virtues are really quite impossible:

There are but two roads that lead to an important goal and to the doing of great things: strength and perseverance. Strength is the lot of but a few privileged people; but austere perseverance, harsh and continuous, may be employed by the least of us and rarely fails of its purpose, for its silent power grows irresistibly greater with time.

-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I don't think perseverence necessarily needs to be particularly harsh or austere. But it does need to be continous. And perhaps Goethe is saying that harshness and austerity are, somehow, analogous to strength and that we don't need to be privileged at all to access those very powerful tools.

Life

This elicited from me something of a cross between a chuckle and a snort:

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'

-- Sidney J. Harris

And, of course, it's actually a very good question.

Friday cat blogging!

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

What it means to proceed

I really like this:

It is important to expect nothing,
To take every experience,
Including the negative ones,
As merely steps on the path,
And to proceed.

-- Ram Dass

We need to keep on keeping on - no matter what. And Ram Dass has certainly paid his dues in that department so he definitely has the right to speak.

Something about happiness

Hmmm. Over on Oprah's website there's a little slideshow type article by Gabrielle LeBlanc entitled 5 Things Happy People Do. Here's something the writer said about the last one of those five things:

5. They allow themselves to be happy. As much as we all think we want it, many of us are convinced, deep down, that it's wrong to be happy (or too happy). Whether the belief comes from religion, culture, or the family you were raised in, it usually leaves you feeling guilty if you're having fun.

I so get it! My own mother used to say to me very sternly, "I don't want you to be happy; I want you to be useful." She also was fond of quoting Mark Twain who said one time, "Happiness is for pigs."*

Wow!

(Ha! Don't worry, folks. I've paid my dues in the therapy department!)

I'm really very serious here. If you find yourself uncomfortable with the idea of happiness, it might be a good plan to do some inner detective work and find out what that resistence is all about. It's also probably a good plan to get some help with the process of that detective work - especially if the discomfort persists. And remember: it's an act of true compassion to learn how to be happy and then to let it show. Being happy helps us to help other people to be happy. (On some level, it's catching!) And think about it: do you really like to be around unhappy people?
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UPDATE: Here's something I just found:

Happiness is a thing to be practiced, like the violin.

-- John Lubbock

I definitely agree.

* (That saying has also been attributed to both Einstein and Aristotle.)

Wednesday life form blogging

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And the moral of the story is this: when you play with something smaller than you, it's nice to be extra specially gentle!

That marquee on the corner

Well, the Church of the Nazarene at the end of my street has done it again. The marquee today reads as follows:

There is no free tuition in the school of experience.

Ain't that the truth???

Now, here's the deal. If we're going to benefit from those lessons presented to us through experience, we need some context, some basic principles, for interpreting what's actually going on in a way that's consistent with reality. You already know I'm going to remind you that the meditative tradition gives us that context and those principles.

So keep meditating. And keep paying attention to the transmissions of the authentic teachers out there.

Monday meditative picture blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Blessings to all this day!

Image courtesy VintageHolidayCrafts.com

Simple, sane, inspiring advice

This is worth taping to the bathroom mirror, I think:

Meditate.
Live purely. Be quiet.
Do your work with mastery.
Like the moon, come out
from behind the clouds!
Shine.

-- The Buddha

What a wonderful instruction for living. Truly a promotion of happiness, I would assert!
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Friday cat blogging!

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

This seems appropriate for today:

In the end these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you love?
How deeply did you learn to let go?

-- The Buddha

Antidote for rumination

In the ongoing classes this week at the Center, we have talked about how the mind can get caught up in rumination and how this seductively draws us away from being and staying in the moment.

This morning I found a short article that addresses this and also offers some remedies.

Here's one very sensible excerpt:

When you are down and feel low have you noticed how much time you spend revisiting the past, replaying the story of what happened and saying to yourself "if only I had"...or thinking "what if...."? Your emotions are powerful and the way you think, what you think and how you think can enhance or destroy your sense of inner peace and calm.

Learning to release attachment from your story, your pain or sadness takes practice, courage, confidence and skill. As a human, you are programmed to care and worry, so naturally, if a friend is upset, or your partner falls ill, your natural tendency is to empathise with their pain and to feel sad for them. The trick, or test, is to be able to empathise with someone else's sorrow and pain yet, somehow not to get stressed out and totally worried; otherwise it becomes harder for you to offer support, encouragement and compassionate advice.

And here is one of the suggested exercises:

Sit on the floor or on a chair with a lighted candle in front of you. Gaze at the flame through half-closed eyes, then close your eyes and visualise the warm glow from the candle behind your eyelids. Stay focused on this image. If you lose the image, gently open your eyes and gaze at the flame, then close your eyes and repeat. Continue with this practice for 5 - 10 minutes.

When I was studying at the Tibetan Center in Cape Town we did candle meditation in one of the classes. Each person (and it was a large class!) had his or her own personal candle. Needless to say, this was very powerful done in a large group like that. But it's also truly effective when done all on one's own.

Here's the link for the article: "Three Types of Meditation For Instant Stress Relief From Emotional Pain ". The author is Ntathu Allen. You might like to click through on her name and see all the other articles she's written. Looks like there's a wealth there!

Wednesday life form blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

What is compassion anyway?

I think this sums it up quite well:

Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.

-- Frederick Buechner

Monday meditative picture blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

That exquisite experience of being in the moment

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I really like the very end of this video:

Something about beliefs

Oh, my goodness, people. This is so, so true:

The therapist does not treat patients by simply giving them another set of beliefs. He or she tries to help them see which kinds of ideas and beliefs have led to their suffering. Many patients want to get rid of their painful feelings, but they do not want to get rid of their beliefs, the viewpoints that are the very roots of their feelings.

-- Thich Nhat Hanh

I'm thinking now of having this printed out on a little card that I give to all my meditation therapy clients. Many would truly rather keep their pain than question some of their destructive beliefs about themselves and about life.

Friday cat blogging!

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Recognize this?

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Wednesday life form blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Enlightenment

Here are two quotations on the subject that I think are truly worthy of time and reflection:

Enlightenment is the "quiet acceptance of what is". I believe the truly enlightened beings are those who refuse to allow themselves to be distressed over things that simply are the way they are.

-- Wayne Dyer

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.

-- Lao Tzu

Both are dificult: accepting what is and knowing oneself. Let us, then, normalize the perception that we're in for a long journey - and ought to be!

The value of close attention

Here's something very much in line with yesterday's post:

The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.

-- Henry Miller

Monday meditative picture blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Valuing mystery

I'm all for being practical. However, many people who claim to value the practical above all else tend to minimize the value of wonder, the value of allowing themselves the experience of awe:

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. They to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, are as good as dead: their eyes are closed.

-- Albert Einstein

If you haven't felt a sense of awe or wonder today, give yourself that opportunity before you go to bed tonight. If you can't find that opportunity in your home or backyard, I promise you it can be found on the internet! Go to Wikimedia Commons and browse through the art work there or visit the NASA website and look at some of the Hubble telescope photographs. Train yourself. Coach yourself. The awareness of wonder will come to you in time, truly.

Sunday art blogging

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Artist: Paul Gaugin

Image from Wikimedia Commons

Something about purpose

When you know who you are;
when your mission is clear and you
burn with the inner fire of unbreakable will;
no cold can touch your heart;
no deluge can dampen your purpose.
You know that you are alive.

-- Chief Seattle

Happy Vernal Equinox

Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Well, this year the first day of spring is on March 20 - today. However, here in Tulsa it is snowing!

You can read more about the equinox right here.

The ten minute rule

This is from friend of the Center, Larry Hochhaus:

When obsessing on a future event which makes us fearful, we can ask, "what can I do about it now?" We can also follow my friend Tommy's 10-minute rule. Namely, if I'm thinking about something of concern I can limit the time I'll spend on it to ten minutes. If I'm engaged in doing something in the present that requires my attention, like driving or listening to someone sharing information with me, at the same time I'm dwelling on the past or fearing the future I need to shift my focus to the here and now immediately. To keep my focus on the present, it may be helpful to redirect my attention to my five senses. That is, ask myself what am I seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching right here "just for today," "just for this moment?"

Redirecting one's attention to the five senses is very helpful indeed when our thoughts are taking us hostage.

Friday cat blogging!

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Awakening fully

I am saddened by the assertion some people make that meditation is somehow selfish. They feel guilty about coming to class and being unproductive. I would like to shout the following from the housetops:

Whenever someone awakens fully,
it affects human consciousness
at a collective level.
It is like dropping a stone
into a dark murky pond.
Ripples of light!
Not one word need be spoken.

-- Leonard Jacobsen

Hmmm....

Something to think about:

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

– Ferris Bueller

Belated life form blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

An Irish blessing

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~~~Deep peace of the running wave to you
~~~Deep peace of the shining stars to you
~~~Deep peace of the flowing air to you
~~~Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.

Mood boosters

Why would a post on mood boosters in the food department belong on a meditation site? Mainly it has to do with motivation. I've discovered that when people are in a disheartened or irritable mood, they tend to resist taking the time and effort to meditate - even when they know that doing so would actually help. And so I was pleased to come across an article entitled "5 Best Snacks to Boost Your Mood".

The snacks, incidentally, are:

bananas
walnuts
sunflower seeds
dark chocolate
eggs

There's a brief page on each one of the snacks explaining how it works. Very valuable information, I should say.

Apple meditation

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Artist: Paul Cézanne

Image from Wikimedia Commons

Today Cynthia called my attention to an article on eating an apple as a meditative support. It's called "Are You Really Savoring Your Apple? An Apple Meditation" by Thich Nhat Hanh and Lilian Cheung. Here's a little excerpt:

The first thing is to give your undivided attention to eating the apple. When you eat the apple, just concentrate on eating the apple. Don't think of anything else. And most important, be still. Don't eat the apple while you are driving. Don't eat it while you are walking. Don't eat it while you are reading. Just be still. Being focused and slowing down will allow you to truly savor all the qualities the apple offers: its sweetness, aroma, freshness, juiciness, and crispness.

There's quite a bit more to the article so I do suggest that you click through and learn more about this wonderful exercise.

Sunday art blogging

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Artist: Paul Serusier

Image from Wikimedia Commons

Thoughts on happiness

Everyone really, deep down, wants to be happy. But many people truly don't know how. Here's a bit help in understanding how to go about it:

Fame or integrity: which is more important?
Money or happiness: which is more valuable?
Success or failure: which is more destructive?
If you look to others for fulfillment,
you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself.
Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize that nothing is lacking,
the whole world belongs to you!

-- Lao Tzu

Something about the ego

Here's an image that is both descriptive and evocative:

The ego, as a collection of our past experiences, is continually offering miserable lines of thought. It’s as if there were a stream with little fish swimming by, and when we hook one of them there is a judgment. The ego is constantly judging everybody and everything. It has its constant little chit chat about things that can happen in the future, things about the past, too, and these are the little fish that swim by. And what we learn to do — this is why it takes work — is to not reach out and grab a fish.

- Hugh Prather

That, of course, is why meditative practice is so very important. In meditation we learn the real how of not grabbing a fish.

Friday cat blogging!

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

How we RELATE to experiences

Today, I found a truly excellent question and answer page about meditation entitled "Cultivating a Quiet Mind". Here's just one very small excerpt that impressed me.

Any kind of experience is possible during meditation. But meditation is not oriented toward having particular kinds of experiences. Rather, meditation is concerned with how we relate to all our experiences, not about inducing specific sorts of experiences. In essence, meditating teaches awareness of whatever happens and allowing our experiences to come and go without judgment. In this sense, meditation is profoundly ordinary. There is nothing extraordinary or exotic about it.

I do encourage you to click through and read all of it.

Something about decisions

This is some wise advice, I think:

Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.

-- Author Unknown

I would add the following: never answer an email or return a phone call when experiencing distress. Wait. Give yourself time to breathe, to let your mind settle, to still your soul.

Wednesday life form blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

As you sow, so shall you reap.

I wouldn't assert that this is 100% the case but it is true often enough:

Whether it's praise, love, criticism, money, time, power, punishment, space, sorrow, laughter, need, pain, or pleasure... the more of it that you give, the more of it you will receive.

-- Mike Dooley

Monday meditative picture blogging

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Photograph by Luis Leclere

From Wikimedia Commons

A wonderful Rumi poem on impermanence

Here it is:

Travelers, it is late.
Life's sun is going to set.
During these brief days that you have strength,
be quick and spare no effort of your wings.

-- Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Sunday art blogging

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Artist: Leon Wyczółkowski

Image from Wikimedia Commons

More about alleviating our suffering

I saved this quotation a long time ago. I may have used it before but, if so, it certainly bears repeating:

Mindfulness meditation trains us to be less reactive to whatever it is in life that causes us suffering. It gives us an ability to experience our own pain without identifying fully with it, and therefore to be more free from it. Because of that experience during meditation, we begin to fear life's pain less, to contract around it less. We become more easygoing with ourselves. We still suffer, but with much less of the dramatic flair that only adds to our suffering and makes it overwhelming.

-- From Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser

Oh, that mind poison of greed!

It is so easy in our consumption oriented culture to believe that we will be happier if we just have more money or more stuff. So ponder the following if you find yourself caught up in that outlook:

For many people, the acquisition of wealth does not end their troubles, it only changes them.
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It is not the person who has too little, but the person who craves more, who is poor.
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What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more.

-- Seneca

I found the above quotations in an article entitled "What the Old Romans Can Teach You About Living a Kick-Ass Life" that you can read right here.

Friday cat blogging!

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Changing your life

This morning I want to steer you toward an article entitled "7 Little Habits That Can Change Your Life, and How to Form Them". Here are a couple of the habits that are mentioned:

Kindness. Yes, kindness is a habit. And it can be cultivated. Focus on it every day for a month and you’ll see profound changes in your life. You’ll feel better about yourself as a person. You’ll see people react to you differently and treat you better, over the long run.
...
Daily routine. It’s so simple, but creating a daily routine for yourself can make a big difference in your life. The best routines, I’ve found, come at the start and end of the day — both your workday and your day in general. That means, develop a routine for when you awake, for when you first start working, for when you finish your workday, and for the end of your evening.

How will that change your life? It will help you get a great start to your day, and finish your day by preparing for the next day. It’ll help you firmly root the productive habits you want to firm in your everyday life. It’ll help you focus on what’s important, not just what comes up.

The article is on a website called Zen Habits that is fun to explore!

Something about resentment

I am repeatedly amazed at the number of people who act as if something very precious were being taken away when I suggest that they would benefit by letting go of resentment. The following was written by a friend of mine and I'm adapting it for general readership with his permission:

No resentment will go away by resenting more. We have all experienced hurts, some physical hurts, some based on actions of others who disappointed us profoundly, trust in a relationship was broken, or we failed to succeed as we'd hoped in a work situation. Perhaps someone hurt our children or someone we loved; maybe we were lied to, stolen from or betrayed. Whatever the hurt, we hurt ourselves if we hang onto or maintain the memory of the negative event. Resentments can lead us to both continued suffering and to engaging destructive behavior ouselves. Therefore, justifiable anger is a luxury we simply cannot afford. The path out is to achieve forgiveness. When we can say, not that the person who harmed us was right to do so, but that we are prepared to forgive, our anger will subside. We will benefit by moving out of our negative emotional state. We will benefit by removing a reason for ongoing pain and suffering in our own lives.

-- Larry Hochhaus

I particularly like that first sentence. I've talked to people who really believe that they have to keep on resenting as if this would somehow get it out of their system. It doesn't work, folks. Please trust me on this one!

Wednesday life form blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

About our feelings during meditation

New participants here at the Center frequently believe that when they meditate, they ought to feel all lovely and serene. I recently found a web page that speaks to this. Here's a little excerpt:

How did we get the idea that meditation is about being calm and free of thinking? When we allow ourselves to return to our meditation regularly, no matter how difficult the experience, we cannot deny that we see positive changes in our lives, even if during our meditations we feel frustrated or confused. What this seems to suggest is that gaining positive results from meditation does not depend on the meditation experience being pleasant. Perhaps the very gesture of observing exactly how we feel, or even what we think, is the root of the benefits we gain from meditation.

It's by a yoga teacher named Shy Sayar and you can read the entire piece right here.

Monday meditative picture blogging

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"Dreaming of the Tiger"

Photo from Wikimedia Commons

(double click to enlarge - worth it!)

A 45 Second Meditation

So many people claim in all seriousness that they don't have time to meditate. (Another time we'll discuss why that is bogus but, for now, let's go along with it.) Everyone, however can find 45 seconds. Here's how:

Try this: breath through your mouth, and notice how your chest expands; then breath through your nose and you'll notice how your abdomen goes out more. You see, breathing through the nose causes the diaphram to pull the air to the bottom of your lungs. This delivers a good dose of oxygen into your bloodstream, and into your brain. It also tends to relax you.

This is why meditators breath through their noses. It's healthier, and it is the basis of this forty-five-second meditation. ...[T]ake three slow, deep breaths through your nose, paying attention to your breathing.
...
Make it a ritual. For example, each time you get into your car, quietly do your three deep breaths. Having a regular "trigger" like this to remind you will keep you from procrastinating so often that you eventually forget to meditate altogether (isn't this typical when we don't make a habit out of the things we want to do?).

Don't worry if some say this isn't "real" meditation. We walk before we run, and not everything has to be difficult to be of value.

This is by Steve Gillman and you can find the original article right here.

Sunday art blogging

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Artist: Claude Monet

Image from Wikimedia Commons

A benefit of staying calm

A while back I mentioned an article I found on ways to calm down. Here's another good reason for cultivating that capacity:

Without doing anything, things can sometimes go more smoothly just because of our peaceful presence. In a small boat when a storm comes, if one person remains solid and calm, others will not panic and the boat is more likely to stay afloat.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Friday cat blogging!

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Something about reality and perception

Hmmm. Try pondering this for a while!

Reality is what we take to be true. What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perceptions. What we perceive depends upon what we look for. What we look for depends upon what we think. What we think depends upon what we perceive. What we perceive determines what we believe. What we believe determines what we take to be true. what we take to be true is our reality.

-- Gary Zukav

Maybe this is why we need community. We're trapped in an endless circle unless someone interrupts that in some way. Everyone has a blind spot. By definition, we cannot see our own blind spots. Yes, we need each other!

Wednesday life form blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Learning to calm down

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I tend to go for a long time forgetting to check in to the Beliefnet website and whenever I remember to visit I'm really glad I did. Today I found a slide show type artice entitled 7 Quick Ways to Calm Down.

Here's a bit about one method:

Breathe Deeply
....
Years ago, I learned the "Four Square" method of breathing to reduce anxiety:

1. Breathe in slowly to a count of four.
2. Hold the breath for a count of four.
3. Exhale slowly through pursed lips to a count of four.
4. Rest for a count of four (without taking any breaths).
5. Take two normal breaths.
6. Start over again with number one.

This is really excellent and it works like a charm.

I'm thinking it might be a good idea to copy down just the basic name of all seven calming methods on an index card or the like and tape a copy to our desk and/or a kitchen cabinet or some place else where we can easily see it. Then use one of the methods whenever the occasion presents itself for the need to calm down.

Strategies for letting go

Many people claim that they know letting go will help them feel better when faced with a life difficulty but that they don't know how. The classic principles of meditation teach us both the why and the how. Here's a sample:

Do a meditation on impermanence... Sitting in silence, and seeing the coming and going of your feelings and bodily sensations, you become less attached to them. You more fully identify with your "true self" that exists like the sky beyond the clouds.

Change your self-talk. Stop saying "I am depressed," or similar things, even in your head. Learn to say "I feel depressed," or "The feeling of depression is passing through me," and the feeling will be less "real." Did you know that in Spanish you can't say "I am afraid?" You say "Yo tengo miedo," which is "I have fear." When you "are" something, it's harder to remember you can let go. When you "have" something, you are more likely to remember that you can stop having it.

Self talk is extraordinarily powerful. This is why it is invariably counter-productive to scold ourselves when we believe we've made a mistake.

I found the above excerpt on a page entitled "Letting Go" that is part of a website I just discoverd called The Meditation Site. I'm looking forward to exploring it.

Sunday art blogging

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Artist: Franz Marc
Image from Wikimedia Commons

Procrastination

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that there are meditation principles that will help with this!

Remembering this will help us all:

No matter what you do, no matter how stupid, dumb or damaging you judge it to be, there is a lesson to be learned from it. No matter what happens to you, no matter how unfair, inequitable or wrong, there's something you can take from the situation and use for your advancement.

-- Peter McWilliams

Friday cat blogging!

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Authenticity

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Double click on the graphic to enlarge, if you like.

The above is used with permission and I found it right here.

I particularly like the words, "...we are all made for strength and struggle..." and I think that phrase is a marvelous reminder for self-coaching.

Awakening

Grasping and clinging create so much suffering and unhappiness; really they do:

You must release everything when you truly awaken. Are you letting your life go by in frustration and worry over not having enough? If so, relax and remember that you only get what you have for a short period of time. When you awaken you will see the folly of being attached to anything.

-- Wayne Dyer

Wednesday life form blogging

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons

In observance of the day

These seem appropriate for today:

Where shall the word be found, where will the word
Resound? Not here, there is not enough silence.
...
Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to sit still.

-- T.S. Eliot (from Ash Wednesday)